The Importance of Body Confidence

I never thought I had a big nose until my coworker told me I did. I was 19 years old & I worked at Panera Bread as a cashier. My coworker casually mentioned my nose was big. Big nose? It just never crossed my mind. I have a big nose? Oh great. I was always a little self-conscious of my body. 

Growing up I was slightly chubby or if you want to tip toe around the fact you could call it "baby fat." You know, the 12-year-old who probably ate too many cookies. Well I did. I remember sneaking to the kitchen one night & grabbing 6 Oreos, happy that I got away with it. I lost the "baby fat" when I was 16 or 17. I don't know how. Maybe it was baby fat.

I was never the skinny girl or lean girl or sporty girl. It made me always think I was the bigger girl. The one boys would befriend but never actually like like. When my coworker spoke of my "big nose" I was offended big time. Oh great, another insecurity to worry about. Men & women alike suffer from poor self-esteem. We tend to nitpick ourselves. It can get really sad. But it has to stop.



Short fingernails. Big nose. Stretch marks. Scars. Love handles. Thinking so low of myself never helped me. It never got me a boyfriend. It never got me a job. It never made me happy. Even though I hoped it would. Eventually, I embraced my body & myself. I am the girl with a nose, boobs, a bum, & a waist & that's a fact. Yes, there is a difference between the 12-year-old who ate 6 Oreos & the 24-year-old who eats mindfully. I make healthier life choices. I make sure to eat a colorful array of vegetables & fruits. I cook most of my meals rather than eating out. I like using fresh produce. I try to go on a walk, go to the gym, or do a workout video from Youtube. 

Eventually I had to stop pondering about my big nose. Lea Michele rocks her nose! It's not even big. It's natural. I don't need to get a nose job to feel good about my nose. I don't need to lose weight to feel good about myself. I am fine!

I realized when I was about 22 that those who put you down usually feel that way about themselves in some way -- they are projecting their unhappiness of what's going on in their own life on to you. I mean really, what does telling someone they have a big nose do? Why do it? I have no idea.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that body confidence & self-esteem come from within. There's no amount of boyfriends, girlfriends, drinking, drug use, plastic surgery, television shows, reassurance or what have you that will magically make you feel good about yourself. You just have to feel it & believe it. Only then you are truly free from the shackles of self hatred. Love yourself as you are. #LYAYA

Only after I learned to love myself was I able to love another & feel it completely reciprocated. I think I picked guys who gave me any sort of attention versus those who truly cared. There is a difference. Although I didn't realize it at the time. Oops. I didn't think I deserved  anything better than that. Now I do & I receive love. L O V E not attention. Body confidence & confidence in general are necessary in life. You must believe in yourself most of all.

Have you ever suffered from poor self-esteem or body confidence issues? Did anyone point out your insecurities? How do you feel today? Has anything changed? You are beautiful. You are handsome. You are a fantastic person. Feel it. Believe it. Join the discussion by using the hashtag:  #LYAYA :]

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56 comments

  1. This is such a lovely, important post. I really think your such a brave, strong beautiful person for posting this! It's good to spread good body image!

    www.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks. It's a little weird talking about myself, but I must be done! :p

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  2. I sooooo needed this post today. Like, really needed it.
    I always love your posts, but this one is a fave.
    Thanks carmen
    x TINK x
    allabouttink.co.uk

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  3. You look lovely! Your nose is perfectly okay and suits you.

    I always felt very unconfident about my lower body and my height

    Ellabella: Heart Shaped Coconut Bath Bombs

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    1. Well, you're lovely as you are. Nobody is perfect. :]

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  4. beautiful post; you have no reason not to be comfortable in your own skin! It's the only one you've got and you're gorgeous!


    XO Sahra
    Que Sera Sahra

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    Replies
    1. Yep, it's the only skin/body/mind we got. :D

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  5. Such a beautiful post, I love it.

    http://onestoptostyle.blogspot.com/

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  6. Aw, your nose is just perfect! And I love this post because I'm constantly working on trying to be happy in my own skin. Thanks for sharing : )

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    Replies
    1. It can be hard. But if we love not ourselves, how can another? :]

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  7. Girl, you're nuts. Big nose? What are you talking about. We just love to have some image of the "perfect woman" and critique everything that doesn't fall into that. It's made even more ridiculous by the fact that the "perfect woman" isn't even one thing! Big booty, little booty, light skin, dark skin... you're never going to make everybody happy.

    I actually just posted something similar about my recent weight gain. Thanks for the pep-talk, lady. It came at a good time :)

    Cat
    http://oddlylovely.com

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    1. Oh I went back & read it. I gained weight once I started working full time. So. Much. Sitting. :p True, there's nothing perfect in any of us which is what makes us awesomeee.

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  8. You do not have a big nose! You are beautiful. It is important to love ourselves.

    xo, Amy Ann
    The Real Arnolds

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  9. This is fantastic!
    It is so important that we embrace ourselves and come to love who we are. Self acceptance is key.
    I am doing it and constantly trying to embrace myself more

    Lovely post
    xoxo
    Stephanie
    http://misswednesdaysgirl.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Hallelujah, Stephanie. You're preaching to the choir. Self acceptance all the way. :]

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  10. So beautifullly written. Thank you for sharing your story!

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  11. I couldn't agree with you more! Love the positive attitude -- you are gorgeous inside and out!

    xo Jen
    Skirt The Rules

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  12. This is such an important message! Loved reading this post!

    Heidi D.
    www.wishesandreality.com

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  13. Yes!! I love this post. I love that you are confident and inspiring other women to be confident. preach it, sister!

    Maggie
    www.PolishedClosets.com

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  14. Such a great message in this post! Love it, girl! XO

    Anna
    alilyloveaffair.com

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  15. Great post! :)

    http://sbr-fashion-fashion.blogspot.com/

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  16. Such a great post! Every girl should feel beautiful no matter what! Thank you for that reminder!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

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  17. Love this so much, Carmen!! Thank you for sharing something so personal-- it's really encouraging to read.

    Simplicity Relished

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  18. Thanks for such an inspiring post! Puts things in perspective and tells the truth.

    PS. I'm sure your co-worker was just jealous of your perfectly shaped nose!

    Brigita,
    http://www.lostinpattern.com/

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    1. Hahaha. Maybe. I have no idea why someone would say something like that to anyone!

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  19. Ahh, such beautiful words!
    Edita
    www.pret-a-reporter.co.uk

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  20. This was such a great post. I think there will always be something about us we don't like no matter how perfect another person might view us and that's just a personal issue. I think people should just feel confident in themselves even though it can be hard at time.
    Beautetude

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    1. Totally. Obviously we may have things we aren't stoked on, but moping doesn't make it any better. Accept or make a change. :]

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  21. This post is just fantastic. After I had my baby back in February, I knew I'd look different, fit differently in clothing and just over all feel different. There was nothing I could do about my stretch marks and mooshy skin. So I embraced it. I have to say it feels awesome to actually be ok with the way you look. Not only for yourself, but for others. I never want my daughter to hear the words, "I'm fat," come out of my mouth. I want her to see me as her confident mother and role model. I'm so happy that others feel this way. You go girl!

    http://accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com/

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    1. Congrats on the bb! Bodies changes -- especially after pregnancy -- it's a part of life. Please never say "I'm fat" to or around her. :] My mum never did so I was not used to hearing such self-deprecating thoughts when I moved in with my roommate. Her mum would always criticize herself, so my roomie too would spend time pointing out "ugly" or "fat" features. Such a shame.

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  22. great post, and I agree that those who talk about you are just bored as they have nothing to talk about themselves or feel good about themselves!

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    1. They just haven't been enlightened to kindness yet. :p

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  23. What a lovely post! I'm trying to work on my body image and it's a tough road but I will get there in the end! You are beautiful and your nose is perfect!

    http://fixmeinfortyfivex.blogspot.co.uk/

    x

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    Replies
    1. It is a tough road for sure, but we live in a society that makes it that way. Let's lift ourselves up. :D

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  24. Beautiful post! #bopo all the way!!

    Love,

    Ann of Kremb de la Kremb

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    Replies
    1. #BoPo 4 life. P.S. I had to look up "bopo." :]

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  25. Inspiring post! Thanks for sharing. And btw, your nose is very ok and you're beautiful.

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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    Replies
    1. Oh gosh. Thank you. You're beautiful too. :]

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  26. I love this post very much. Partly cause its the most honest thing I've read in regards to people who talk about their insecurities and partly because I DO have a big nose and I don't need a single person to tell me. I have a divine story and everything about how God was trying to make me and then he was making my nose and threw a blob of clay right on the bottom part and I just dislike my nose. As I've grown up I've simultaneously grown more aware of it and dislike it but I can also laugh and joke about it. It's one of those things isn't it though? If we were perfect then we would all be the same and symmetrical and wouldn't appreciate ourselves beyond our appearance. Anyway long rant sorry but this is bringing out thoughts I've had in my head forever about my nose. That last sentence is so weird haha. Anyway great post, you are beautiful with a lovely nose - who even decided that noses have to be certain ways? Like there isn't an average nose shape/measurement so our noses are just as brilliant as everyone else if not more cause they are noticable, a conversation starter if you ask me! I tell my divine nose story all the freakin' time, it is a great ice breaker! Right I'll be off now cause you probably do think I'm a bit mental lol.

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    1. I know what you mean. Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself enough so it doesn't hurt -- or matter -- if someone else does. That's where I'm at now. We ought to accept & like ourselves. Nose or not.There's no standard nose, just the ones people think the think are pretty. We just need to show any nose is pretty. :] // itsCarmen.com ☼ ☯

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  27. I used to think I was fat even though I definitely wasn't (probably from the years of ballet and body scrutiny). Then I got sick, lost a lot of weight, felt terrible and wished to have my old "fat" body back. I am pretty happy with myself now, but sometimes I still feel like a fat ass. I guess that's being human. Now my son, who we just adopted a year ago, comments on how fat he is. He is VERY lean, but years of not having enough to eat has left him with a really messed up image of what a "normal" body is. It really makes me appreciate the fact that what we see isn't always what is true. Beautiful post!

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    1. I feel like it takes an experience like that to just reach acceptance. There's never a perfect weight or size or look. It's such a shame that your son is starting to say that. Just give him lots of love! :]

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  28. Aside from thinness, I think noses are the other main thing Hollywood has conditioned us for. As you mentioned "normal" noses are picked on for being too large. We're so used to seeing a pointed, sculpted nose in advertising/movies/etc (or one that is contoured with make-up to appear smaller). I think what people see as "large" has to do with seeing a natural rounded tip, rather than the pointed one common with nose jobs. I would prefer to see more diversity of natural features than the same face shape everywhere.

    I personally struggle with feeling my face is too oval - no high cheekbones, sculpted jawline, etc. But I refuse to contour my face to look like someone else so I accept my lack of angles!

    www.fineryandmadness.com

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    1. So true. You look at your favorite actors & then you look at their "before" photo & realize they look kind of like you. We can all knit pick things we dislike but should focus on what we DO enjoy. :] Your face is fine.

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  29. Really genuine and lovely post, very honest and so true! I love that you're a writer and blogger from California and I'm a writer and blogger from England. Great blog!

    Emily
    http://www.emilykatedale.co.uk

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    1. Woohoo. Shout out to the writers & bloggers of the world. :]

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  30. This post is very necessary. I remember the first time my step brother told me I had a big forehead. Before then, it never really occurred to me and I carried it with me for years sense. Luckily it never affected my confidence, but you're right you have to love and accept yourself and not allow others' opinions to mold the way you see yourself.

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    1. One person's cruel words can hurt for years & that's unfair to ourselves. Self love! :]

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  31. lovely article and so true we believe so much of what other people think about us when they are saying things like you have a big nose ( which you don't it fits your face) because they are unhappy with their bodies and how they look so by making others feel bad makes them not alone if you don't love yourself every inch no one can ever love you

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  32. Well said Carmen. The opinion of other people won't carry any weight so long as we love ourselves enough to not let them.

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Thanks for reading & writing. :] // ▲

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