SLIDER

I Need To Be My Own Best Friend

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I'm writing this on my cracked iPhone as I ride the metro from Poble Sec to Mundet. I'm in Barcelona, Spain. It's my first time here. It's October but the temperatures remind me of San Diego. I'm happy & unhappy simultaneously. 

I'm writing to pass the time. I can’t help but feel turned around, as though my navigation is completely askew. Where is my compass? Where is my internal guide? Perhaps I haven’t been listening. I take things too much to heart. I think about scenarios that don’t exist. I crave friendship & connection but am horrible at executing it myself. I prefer online community & communication. I have to write in order to understand myself & my feelings. 


I’ve been lost because I haven’t spoken to myself. I am a person. I can have a relationship with myself. I should have a relationship with myself. Who am I? What do I like? How would I describe myself? What do I want?

I need to be my own best friend, my biggest supporter. I need to quit holding myself back, quit critiquing my every move. If my friend did that to me, they would be a crappy friend. Am I being a bad friend to myself?

Shouldn’t I be best friends with myself? Shouldn’t I have more faith in myself? Shouldn’t I care more about myself? Shouldn’t I be a better friend to myself? Shouldn’t I communicate with myself, understand who I am, what I want, what I like? Just like I’d get to know any human. It’s time to stop second-guessing every choice. It’s time to stop tallying, counting, take note. It’s time to do. It’s time to take action. It’s time to live.

I deserve a good relationship with others but it starts with me. If I were to name my 5 best friends, I wouldn't be on the list. This needs to change. I need to be my own best friend.

What are your thoughts on this mental health & self-care subject? Leave a comment & tell me a bit about yourself!

Off to Barcelona, Berlin, & Oslo + Small Moments Matter, No Matter Where You Are

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Picture this: I'm up in the sky on a plane for 11 hours & 30 minutes as I transport from one side of the globe to another. I'm heading to Barcelona, Spain to gobble up patatas bravas & take in the beauty of La Sagrada Familia.

Shirt: Soo Jin // Sunglasses: Dopemo

Then I take a short $29 plane ride from Barcelona to Berlin. Yes, it's true. It only costs $29 to fly from one country to another. For less than a tank of gas — which would only take you from San Diego to Los Angeles — you can stop in another country. 
I'll experience Berlin, Germany's rich history & sit down for a picnic at Viktoriapark. After Deutschland, I venture north toward the fjords of Norway. I'll trek through the forest of Nordmarka in Oslo, Norway then sigh at the view of the city from the roof of the Opera House.

Shirt: Soo Jin // Pants: Hue // Sunglasses: Dopemo // Cowgirl Boots: similar on Amazon

I always have to remind myself: life is not only about the big moments — the graduations, the trips across the world, the pay raises, the engagements, the babies. The milestones are obviously important in life, but don't let them guide you, propel you. Create your own moments & milestones each day.

Shirt: Soo Jin // Pants: Hue // Sunglasses: Dopemo  

Even when traveling, some moments are mundane. You might spend the evening making mushroom tortellini & garlic bread in your London flat, then watching three episodes of Gilmore Girls on Netflix before heading to bed. Small moments matter, no matter where you are.

Shirt: Soo Jin // Pants: Hue // Sunglasses: Dopemo // Cowgirl Boots: similar on Amazon

Now when I make mushroom tortellini & watch Gilmore Girls at home, it makes me think of that night in our Knotting Hill neighborhood. It doesn't seem like such a minuscule moment; it morphs into a moderately meaningful one. This practice of remembering a good, small moment helps me feel more present, especially in times of stress or anxiety. 


The next few weeks will be packed with adventure, jet lag, & going outside of my comfort zone as I visit new-to-me countries & cities. I leave on Sunday. Right now I'm running around trying to do everything I need to complete before take off. Did I pack my underwear? Do I have a phone charger? Wait, where is my passport?!


What are you looking forward to? How do you make small moments matter? :]

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