Finding the Strength to Ignore Someone's Negative Opinion of You
I never thought I had a big nose until my coworker told me I did. I was 19 years old & I worked at Panera Bread as a cashier. My coworker casually mentioned my nose was big. Big nose? It just never crossed my mind. I have a big nose? Oh great.
I was always a little self-conscious of my body. I was never the skinny girl or lean girl or sporty girl. When my coworker spoke of my "big nose" it brought up so many insecurities. It felt as though I had another thing to worry about.
Short fingernails. Unibrow. Big nose. Stretch marks. Scars. Love handles. Aaaaall the insecurities came crashing down.
I was always a little self-conscious of my body. I was never the skinny girl or lean girl or sporty girl. When my coworker spoke of my "big nose" it brought up so many insecurities. It felt as though I had another thing to worry about.
Short fingernails. Unibrow. Big nose. Stretch marks. Scars. Love handles. Aaaaall the insecurities came crashing down.
Eventually, I had to stop pondering about my big nose. I can't lose sleep over someone's opinion of me. I am the girl with a nose, boobs, a bum, & a waist & that's a fact.
I realized in my early twenties (but still have to remind myself) that those who put you down usually feel that way about themselves in some way -- they are projecting their unhappiness of what's going on in their own life on to you. I mean really, what does telling someone they have a big nose do? Why do it? I have no idea.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that body confidence & self-esteem starts from within. It may be a work in progress, but love yourself as you are. #LYAYA
I took the comment to heart rather than listening to myself. I went all my life feeling comfortable with my nose & the comment sent it crashing down. Nuh uh. I will not let someone's opinion of me alter me or make me feel negative toward myself. NOPE.
And should I ever feel that way, I will read this post. And perhaps you will too. :]
I took the comment to heart rather than listening to myself. I went all my life feeling comfortable with my nose & the comment sent it crashing down. Nuh uh. I will not let someone's opinion of me alter me or make me feel negative toward myself. NOPE.
And should I ever feel that way, I will read this post. And perhaps you will too. :]
Have you ever suffered from poor self-esteem or body confidence issues? Did anyone point out your insecurities? How do you feel today? Has anything changed? You are beautiful. You are handsome. You are a fantastic person. Feel it. Believe it. Join the discussion by using the hashtag: #LYAYA :]
This is such a lovely, important post. I really think your such a brave, strong beautiful person for posting this! It's good to spread good body image!
ReplyDeletewww.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk
Thanks. It's a little weird talking about myself, but I must be done! :p
DeleteI sooooo needed this post today. Like, really needed it.
ReplyDeleteI always love your posts, but this one is a fave.
Thanks carmen
x TINK x
allabouttink.co.uk
Aww. Thanks so much hehe. :]]
DeleteYou look lovely! Your nose is perfectly okay and suits you.
ReplyDeleteI always felt very unconfident about my lower body and my height
Ellabella: Heart Shaped Coconut Bath Bombs
Well, you're lovely as you are. Nobody is perfect. :]
Deletebeautiful post; you have no reason not to be comfortable in your own skin! It's the only one you've got and you're gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteXO Sahra
Que Sera Sahra
Yep, it's the only skin/body/mind we got. :D
DeleteSuch a beautiful post, I love it.
ReplyDeletehttp://onestoptostyle.blogspot.com/
Aw, your nose is just perfect! And I love this post because I'm constantly working on trying to be happy in my own skin. Thanks for sharing : )
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard. But if we love not ourselves, how can another? :]
DeleteGirl, you're nuts. Big nose? What are you talking about. We just love to have some image of the "perfect woman" and critique everything that doesn't fall into that. It's made even more ridiculous by the fact that the "perfect woman" isn't even one thing! Big booty, little booty, light skin, dark skin... you're never going to make everybody happy.
ReplyDeleteI actually just posted something similar about my recent weight gain. Thanks for the pep-talk, lady. It came at a good time :)
Cat
http://oddlylovely.com
Oh I went back & read it. I gained weight once I started working full time. So. Much. Sitting. :p True, there's nothing perfect in any of us which is what makes us awesomeee.
DeleteYou do not have a big nose! You are beautiful. It is important to love ourselves.
ReplyDeletexo, Amy Ann
The Real Arnolds
Thx :p Yes, so important!
DeleteThis is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteIt is so important that we embrace ourselves and come to love who we are. Self acceptance is key.
I am doing it and constantly trying to embrace myself more
Lovely post
xoxo
Stephanie
http://misswednesdaysgirl.blogspot.co.uk
Hallelujah, Stephanie. You're preaching to the choir. Self acceptance all the way. :]
DeleteSo beautifullly written. Thank you for sharing your story!
ReplyDeleteShauna
www.lipglossandlace.net
Many thanks for reading it. :]
DeleteI couldn't agree with you more! Love the positive attitude -- you are gorgeous inside and out!
ReplyDeletexo Jen
Skirt The Rules
Thanks for stopping by. :]
DeleteThis is such an important message! Loved reading this post!
ReplyDeleteHeidi D.
www.wishesandreality.com
Yes!! I love this post. I love that you are confident and inspiring other women to be confident. preach it, sister!
ReplyDeleteMaggie
www.PolishedClosets.com
Hallelujah! :]
DeleteSuch a great message in this post! Love it, girl! XO
ReplyDeleteAnna
alilyloveaffair.com
Great post! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://sbr-fashion-fashion.blogspot.com/
Such a great post! Every girl should feel beautiful no matter what! Thank you for that reminder!
ReplyDelete<3 Shannon
Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com
Love this so much, Carmen!! Thank you for sharing something so personal-- it's really encouraging to read.
ReplyDeleteSimplicity Relished
Thanks for actually reading. :]]
DeleteThanks for such an inspiring post! Puts things in perspective and tells the truth.
ReplyDeletePS. I'm sure your co-worker was just jealous of your perfectly shaped nose!
Brigita,
http://www.lostinpattern.com/
Hahaha. Maybe. I have no idea why someone would say something like that to anyone!
DeleteAhh, such beautiful words!
ReplyDeleteEdita
www.pret-a-reporter.co.uk
This was such a great post. I think there will always be something about us we don't like no matter how perfect another person might view us and that's just a personal issue. I think people should just feel confident in themselves even though it can be hard at time.
ReplyDeleteBeautetude
Totally. Obviously we may have things we aren't stoked on, but moping doesn't make it any better. Accept or make a change. :]
DeleteThis post is just fantastic. After I had my baby back in February, I knew I'd look different, fit differently in clothing and just over all feel different. There was nothing I could do about my stretch marks and mooshy skin. So I embraced it. I have to say it feels awesome to actually be ok with the way you look. Not only for yourself, but for others. I never want my daughter to hear the words, "I'm fat," come out of my mouth. I want her to see me as her confident mother and role model. I'm so happy that others feel this way. You go girl!
ReplyDeletehttp://accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com/
Congrats on the bb! Bodies changes -- especially after pregnancy -- it's a part of life. Please never say "I'm fat" to or around her. :] My mum never did so I was not used to hearing such self-deprecating thoughts when I moved in with my roommate. Her mum would always criticize herself, so my roomie too would spend time pointing out "ugly" or "fat" features. Such a shame.
Deletegreat post, and I agree that those who talk about you are just bored as they have nothing to talk about themselves or feel good about themselves!
ReplyDeleteThey just haven't been enlightened to kindness yet. :p
DeleteWhat a lovely post! I'm trying to work on my body image and it's a tough road but I will get there in the end! You are beautiful and your nose is perfect!
ReplyDeletehttp://fixmeinfortyfivex.blogspot.co.uk/
x
It is a tough road for sure, but we live in a society that makes it that way. Let's lift ourselves up. :D
DeleteBeautiful post! #bopo all the way!!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ann of Kremb de la Kremb
#BoPo 4 life. P.S. I had to look up "bopo." :]
DeleteInspiring post! Thanks for sharing. And btw, your nose is very ok and you're beautiful.
ReplyDeleteJessica | notjessfashion.com
Oh gosh. Thank you. You're beautiful too. :]
DeleteI love this post very much. Partly cause its the most honest thing I've read in regards to people who talk about their insecurities and partly because I DO have a big nose and I don't need a single person to tell me. I have a divine story and everything about how God was trying to make me and then he was making my nose and threw a blob of clay right on the bottom part and I just dislike my nose. As I've grown up I've simultaneously grown more aware of it and dislike it but I can also laugh and joke about it. It's one of those things isn't it though? If we were perfect then we would all be the same and symmetrical and wouldn't appreciate ourselves beyond our appearance. Anyway long rant sorry but this is bringing out thoughts I've had in my head forever about my nose. That last sentence is so weird haha. Anyway great post, you are beautiful with a lovely nose - who even decided that noses have to be certain ways? Like there isn't an average nose shape/measurement so our noses are just as brilliant as everyone else if not more cause they are noticable, a conversation starter if you ask me! I tell my divine nose story all the freakin' time, it is a great ice breaker! Right I'll be off now cause you probably do think I'm a bit mental lol.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself enough so it doesn't hurt -- or matter -- if someone else does. That's where I'm at now. We ought to accept & like ourselves. Nose or not.There's no standard nose, just the ones people think the think are pretty. We just need to show any nose is pretty. :] // itsCarmen.com ☼ ☯
DeleteI used to think I was fat even though I definitely wasn't (probably from the years of ballet and body scrutiny). Then I got sick, lost a lot of weight, felt terrible and wished to have my old "fat" body back. I am pretty happy with myself now, but sometimes I still feel like a fat ass. I guess that's being human. Now my son, who we just adopted a year ago, comments on how fat he is. He is VERY lean, but years of not having enough to eat has left him with a really messed up image of what a "normal" body is. It really makes me appreciate the fact that what we see isn't always what is true. Beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteI feel like it takes an experience like that to just reach acceptance. There's never a perfect weight or size or look. It's such a shame that your son is starting to say that. Just give him lots of love! :]
DeleteAside from thinness, I think noses are the other main thing Hollywood has conditioned us for. As you mentioned "normal" noses are picked on for being too large. We're so used to seeing a pointed, sculpted nose in advertising/movies/etc (or one that is contoured with make-up to appear smaller). I think what people see as "large" has to do with seeing a natural rounded tip, rather than the pointed one common with nose jobs. I would prefer to see more diversity of natural features than the same face shape everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI personally struggle with feeling my face is too oval - no high cheekbones, sculpted jawline, etc. But I refuse to contour my face to look like someone else so I accept my lack of angles!
www.fineryandmadness.com
So true. You look at your favorite actors & then you look at their "before" photo & realize they look kind of like you. We can all knit pick things we dislike but should focus on what we DO enjoy. :] Your face is fine.
DeleteReally genuine and lovely post, very honest and so true! I love that you're a writer and blogger from California and I'm a writer and blogger from England. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteEmily
http://www.emilykatedale.co.uk
Woohoo. Shout out to the writers & bloggers of the world. :]
DeleteThis post is very necessary. I remember the first time my step brother told me I had a big forehead. Before then, it never really occurred to me and I carried it with me for years sense. Luckily it never affected my confidence, but you're right you have to love and accept yourself and not allow others' opinions to mold the way you see yourself.
ReplyDeleteOne person's cruel words can hurt for years & that's unfair to ourselves. Self love! :]
Deletelovely article and so true we believe so much of what other people think about us when they are saying things like you have a big nose ( which you don't it fits your face) because they are unhappy with their bodies and how they look so by making others feel bad makes them not alone if you don't love yourself every inch no one can ever love you
ReplyDeleteWell said Carmen. The opinion of other people won't carry any weight so long as we love ourselves enough to not let them.
ReplyDelete