I Need To Be My Own Best Friend / Carmen Varner // Travel Influencer, Blogging Coach, Social Media Consultant


I Need To Be My Own Best Friend

I'm writing this on my cracked iPhone as I ride the metro from Poble Sec to Mundet. I'm in Barcelona, Spain. It's my first time here. It's October but the temperatures remind me of San Diego. I'm happy & unhappy simultaneously. 

I'm writing to pass the time. I can’t help but feel turned around, as though my navigation is completely askew. Where is my compass? Where is my internal guide? Perhaps I haven’t been listening. I take things too much to heart. I think about scenarios that don’t exist. I crave friendship & connection but am horrible at executing it myself. I prefer online community & communication. I have to write in order to understand myself & my feelings. 

I’ve been lost because I haven’t spoken to myself. I am a person. I can have a relationship with myself. I should have a relationship with myself. Who am I? What do I like? How would I describe myself? What do I want?

I need to be my own best friend, my biggest supporter. I need to quit holding myself back, quit critiquing my every move. If my friend did that to me, they would be a crappy friend. Am I being a bad friend to myself?

Shouldn’t I be best friends with myself? Shouldn’t I have more faith in myself? Shouldn’t I care more about myself? Shouldn’t I be a better friend to myself? Shouldn’t I communicate with myself, understand who I am, what I want, what I like? Just like I’d get to know any human. It’s time to stop second-guessing every choice. It’s time to stop tallying, counting, take note. It’s time to do. It’s time to take action. It’s time to live.

I deserve a good relationship with others but it starts with me. If I were to name my 5 best friends, I wouldn't be on the list. This needs to change. I need to be my own best friend.

What are your thoughts on this mental health & self-care subject? Leave a comment & tell me a bit about yourself!


  1. What a beautiful view in that photo! I hope you find the connection you crave - ti's true we can be our own worst critics and so harsh on ourselves sometimes!

    Hope that you are having a good week :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

  2. It's important to ask yourself the questions you put in this post, we have to check in with ourselves. However we feel inside, radiates on the outside, so we constantly have to work on ourselves. This is easier said than done. It's a process.

    Have a lovely Sunday ( :

  3. Thanks Mica! This was taken in Girona, Spain; I still dream about the view. I'm trying to connect with myself, so it's a work in progress that I have to work on every day! :]

  4. You're right about that! It's certainly a process but as you said, how we feel inside radiates on the outside! :]

  5. I love the picture of you looking towards the city, and how it ties in well with the theme that you are writing. You are right that we need to look within ourselves and see how what we feel about ourselves is influencing our behavior.

  6. My friend just came back a couple of days ago from her first trip to Spain. It's great when you get breaks to take time to think and reflect. And it's such an important realization when you get that you should be better to yourself.

  7. Such an important thing, checking in with yourself. I hope that you're able to connect better with yourself!

  8. Cristine Nixon StrubleNovember 9, 2018 at 11:39 AM

    Very poignant discussion about a difficult topic. So many people look to others for their emotional support when they need to look within

  9. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Buddha

  10. This is so important!


  11. That's very true, Cristine. That's ultimately what happened. I had to look within to answer some of the biggest questions I was having & realised I hadn't spent much time getting to know who I am as someone in their late 20s versus the woman I was years ago! :]

  12. That's so true, Erica. It's valuable to have those breaks to think & reflect. We can be so occupied by work, social media, day-to-day tasks that a year goes by. We have to spend those moments with ourselves to understand what we really want to do/achieve/experience. :]

  13. Thanks Patricia! I love that photo because the city looks so remarkable, but I wasn't really ready for the photo - kind of like life. It's there whether you're ready or not, but it helps to get to know yourself along the way! :]


Thanks for reading & writing. :] // ▲


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