SLIDER

Back to the Light

Monday, September 30, 2013

There was a time when life was a nightmare
& nightmares followed my dreams.
Reality was a horror,
a mess,
like me.
And then there you were.
You followed me into the dark abyss,
which I desperately tried to escape,
and brought me back to the light.

By Carmen Varner

Your Thoughtful Kiss

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I never knew that the touch of your callused hand
would feel so gentle against my freckled, sun kissed skin.
And your thoughtful kiss upon my forehead
speaks volumes about the adoration within the chambers of your heart.
It's not a beating box of blood vessels
but a testament to your commitment.
I knew you & you knew me
but now we know each other wholly.
The monotony of a Monday morning vanishes instantaneously
the moment I receive your message.
There should never be a night when we don't sleep side by side,
but life never goes according to one's wishes.
Tonight, I shall rest my head against my pillow solely.
The only trace of you is
the memories in my mind,
the photos on my phone,
the smell of your laundry detergent on the sweater you lent me.
You're rarely with me
but I wish you were.

By Carmen Varner

The bougainvillea or the bag

Friday, September 20, 2013



What am I doing and where do I go? I can choose between the bougainvillea or the bag. The conflict within my cerebral cortex may be permanent. I prepare for the constant battle between what I strive for and what I settle for. But beauty endures throughout. At first glance, the eye spots the faded fuchsia bougainvillea. She extends her arms through the fence, showing off her parched pale pink petals. Her allure is undeniable. The empty plastic bag sadly billows by the fence. Despite my desire for the bougainvillea, I must first throw away the bag. Of course beauty seems like the most valid option, but the plastic bag might contain a lesson or two.

Thankful Thursday September 19

Thursday, September 19, 2013

apres-hard // by carmen varner

thankful
thank·ful
[thangk-fuhl]
adjective
"feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." 

Being thankful isn't just for Thanksgiving. Gratitude isn't only relevant in November. Let's be appreciative all the time. Woohoo! Fall is almost here! I can feel it lurking in the night. The sneaky breeze and cool air come right after the sun sets. A cardigan is a valid option lately. I'm lovin it.


This week I'm thankful for:

sleepovers staying up late the smell of a new perfume when the warm day turns into a brisk evening ♥ lavender ♥ free food ♥ a 5-minute rendezvous  1,300 Twitter followers ♥ brownie in a mug ♥ hot tea ♥ iced coffee (with milk & sugar, duh) ♥ healthiness  the countdown until fall  frozen chocolate chips  learning Spanish  persistence  reading a book a night  free magazines  closure  8months! 

What are you thankful for today?


"why?" - questions on my love for you

Sunday, September 15, 2013

why do you make me feel this way?
why do i dream of you so often?
why do i think of you so much?
why do the hours seem like seconds with you?
why do i feel so alone the day after we hang out?
why do i want to be with you all the time?
why does wearing your sweater to bed make me happy?
why is the smell of your clothes so comforting?
why aren't we together when we wake up each morning?
why does everything seem brighter with you by my side?
why?
why?
why?

The morning hustle and bustle

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The morning hustle and bustle has officially begun. The drones line up one after another to get their daily fueling. Like gas powers a car, caffeine powers the people. They look fatigued. Her eyes are puffy. His eyes are half open. These people appear dead, out of sorts, dazed and confused. Perhaps sleep is not something these addicts have experienced. She orders dirty chai tea latte with two extra shots of espresso and four pumps of hazelnut syrup. He orders an iced vanilla coffee. I witness these behaviors because I am the scientist, watching my experiment to see how it unfolds. Will my hypothesis come true or will I have to account for variables? I don't appreciate the price of that $4 specialty drink that I could make infinitely better. After all, I too used to be a barista. I order a regular coffee but add chocolate. The poor gal's mocha. The barista didn't call "Carmen" as I expected. She instead yelled, "coffee with mocha." I add some half and half, a dash of vanilla, cinnamon, cocoa and nutmeg. Yeah, why not? I like to take risks. I can make my own specialty drink thankyouverymuch. I had originally purchased this coffee as a crutch, to support my lack of sleep from a late night with my lover. But by the time the concoction caresses my lips, I've already awakened. Just as the morning glory opens up for the dewy dawn, my mind has revived. At this point, my consumerism allows me a critically acclaimed spot in the cafe so I can have a spot to type ferociously. So here I am. At least it's Tuesday.


Thankful Thursday September 5

Thursday, September 05, 2013

thankful
thank·ful
[thangk-fuhl]
adjective
"feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." 

Being thankful isn't just for Thanksgiving. Gratitude isn't only relevant in November. Let's be appreciative all the time. I'm truly amazed at how rapidly a 24 hour period can go. You wake up, eat breakfast and ponder about the rest of the day. Then you work for a few hours, drive to the grocery store or to the post office. You run a couple errands. Your family from out of town arrived and you have to entertain them. Then it's bedtime. Now you do it all again. How can we utilize and take in each and every second?

kewl kids // los angeles
by Carmen Varner

What I'm thankful for this week:

seeing your best friend ♥ breakfast in bed ♥ spending a few hours with your favorite person ♥ getting 8+ hours of sleep when the cool air conditioner blasts on a horribly hot day free food ♥ pumpkin spice lattes ♥ counting down the days until it's fall ♥ finding inspiration ♥ a beautiful view & a cold drink with a friend ♥ compliments ♥ landing a job interview ♥ looking back at old photos ♥ opening yourself up to someone & it's reciprocated ♥ 1,200 Twitter followers!!

How about y'all? What're you thankful for?

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