The Krazy Tales of Kirby Tierney

It was a Monday evening. The night air was cool, yet it was stuffy in the small living room where four twenty-somethings gathered together for a chill evening. The group consisted of two men and two women. Some had been friends for years, while some had met only a week prior. However, at this exact moment in time, they were close.

The four reclined in various parts of the room. The apartment belonged to Charles 'Kirby' Tierney and his two roommates. Kirby's roommates didn't respond well to company and remained hidden in their rooms. Kirby sat on the dirty brown couch in his living room next to Olivia Burlingame. Olivia browsed the television, constantly clicking the remote. She smacked her gum loudly and sighed as she went from channel to channel.

Jamaal Amoros sat on a small black beanbag near Kirby's feet and slowly sipped on a beer. Flora Franco leaned against the white wall with a tie dye pillow behind her back. Kirby met Flora his freshman year in philosophy class. Olivia was Flora's roommate and Jamaal was a friend of a friend who happened to be was crashing on Kirby's couch for the time being.

 "So what'd you do this weekend?," Flora asked Kirby and Jamaal. "Any girls this time?," she inquired.

"Yeah, we were hanging out with girls," Kirby said.

"I know, but you're "hanging out" with me and Olivia," she said, adding air quotes to emphasize her point.

"You're always like 'did you get it in?'" Kirby joked, imitating Flora. The four of them laughed.

"Sorry I'm intrigued," Flora said, kicking Kirby's shin. "You always have the coolest stories. If I had a cool story, I would tell you too."

Kirby seemed amused and thought about his weekend.

"We went to a warehouse party in LA on Friday," Kirby responded. "We skated all day. There was all the beer you could drink. Everyone was sipping beers and cruising on their boards. I drank so many I couldn't even skate, which is saying something," he said. "So I went to my buddy's car to chill, but ended up passing out in his car. I woke up like three hours later back home. Then, get this," he paused.

Olivia stopped flipping through the channels at this point and left it on Hey Arnold! Jamaal got up from his seat and went to the fridge to get another beer.

"Want one?," Jamaal asked nobody in particular.

"Yeah," Flora and Kirby said in unison. Jamaal returned with four beers in hand, two for himself.

"So what happened?," Flora probed.

"I hung out with my ex. She gave me like a 30-rack of beer for my birthday," he said.

"Seriously?" Olivia asked. "I'd never buy a gift for an ex."

Kirby gave Olivia a weird look.

"Even for someone as magnificent as yourself," she added hastily. She wasn't trying to be mean.

"The same girlfriend that you all of a sudden stopped talking to you? Let me get this straight. She wasn't pissed at you, but instead buys you beer? Interesting," Flora said, squinting her eyes in a train of thought.

"Anyway," Kirby began. "So I took it, told her thanks and bounced the hell out of there. We drank it all that night," he said pointing to Jamaal. "So pretty much, I had a ton of beer that day, beginning at the skate park. It resulted in a massive two-day hangover. It hurt my head to breathe. I swear it was like blasting a foghorn in my ear. My brain was pounding. Me and Jamaal just vegged out on the couch all weekend. Worst hangover of the year," he said.

"But it's only March!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Friday was totally worth it," Kirby said. And with that it was evident he was done retelling his story.

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